Milestones

Hi Mom,

I missed you today.    It was a big day for Cooper.   He went to his kindergarten orientation and sat in the class and met his teacher.   Then afterwards, we went to his graduation party from Kids Co-op, where he got a little diploma and they had all kinds of fun things for them to play and do.   Dad came.  And Cooper loved that.  I always thought you would be here for these moments, these magical milestones in my Children's lives.   Oh mom, you would have been so proud of him.   He's got quite a little mind of his own and he's so smart.   He's a handful let me tell you, but in such a good way.  He's got a great big imagination.   And he thinks of you all the time.   He says goodnight to Grandma in heaven everynight.  And he often talks about taking a rocket ship into space so we can see Grandma.  Sometimes he just looks up into the sky and says your name.   And he loves the song I wrote for you mom, and when he's in his room sleeping, sometimes I can hear him singing it all by himself.  He would love you so much.  He does.  Even though you're not here. 

I had another therapy session tonight and cried.    Just about everything, you know, wanting you.   Still needing you.    Sometimes, you just need your mom.    I long to hug you and hold your hand and snuggle up in bed with you and watch a movie.  I long to have girls days and make dinners with you.   And I long for you to participate in my joy with the kids.    Everlie is getting so cute, mom.  She's eight months and she's almost crawling.    She lights up the room with her smile.  And she loves me so much.  It's beautiful to hear the words momma coming out of her mouth.  

I can see why you loved me so much mom.  Why I was your pride and joy.  These kids are wonderful, beautiful creatures that Dave and I worked so hard to create.   And they are here in this world with us.  And I love them so much.   There is so much love.

I love you too mom.   You are in my heart forever.   In fact, I was thinking of a poem today.... and reminds me of you.... and I will dedicate it to how I feel.  You are with me, I carry your heart inside my heart.