Dear Family and Friends,
What can I say about my mom that you don't already know?
There aren't enough words to describe how I feel about her. She was simply everything to me. My mom, my best friend, my moral compass, my heart -- she was my 'person'. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't see or talk to my mom. We talked upwards of ten times a day sometimes. About this and that. About nothing really. I would just call her up to talk. I think that is the thing that I will miss most. The way we would talk and laugh and cry about nothing and everything. The way I would still crawl into bed with her and watch movies. Just being in her presence made me feel happy, loved, and safe. To me and my dad, she was our world and she will be in our hearts forever. I told my mom this week that I wasn't ready to say goodbye and that I feared I would never be able to let her go. So instead we agreed that I didn't have to let her go, that she would stay with me in my heart and I could talk to her everyday and she would send me a sign every single day. And she has already sent me her first sign. She passed away a 11:39pm on "Family Day". Two years ago, when Cooper was just an embryo, sitting in his little dish in Denver, Dave and I decided to call Family Day, the day that he was taken from the dish and placed inside my uterus, finally making us a family. We celebrated "Family Day" last year as a wonderful miracle day to be remembered, and this year, my mom passed away on our Family Day. But she waited until the very end of the day to do it. She wanted to spend Family Day with her family. And then, at the end of the day, on the day Cooper came home to us, was the day my mom left us. It was like she was saying, "it's okay, Lisa, you have Cooper now, so I can leave". And now I will be tied to him forever. And right away I knew that was her saying goodbye and giving me my first sign that she will always be with me.
My mom did everything for everybody. She opened her home and her heart to everyone she knew and loved nothing more than to make another person feel special and loved. She lived each day to the fullest with no regrets. She used to always tell me, "Lisa, you can either make today a good day or a bad day, and every day you have the choice to make it a great day and that's what I'm going to make it." She lived as though each day was a gift and she loved her family and friends with all her heart, especially me and my dad and Cooper. She was looking forward to being a grandma since the day I got married ten years ago, and her wish finally came true when our sweet Cooper arrived. She was there with me when he was born and has enjoyed every moment with him since. She called him the light of her life -- our little miracle -- and although it breaks my heart that he will not get to experience his life with his grandma, I know she will always be with him. And we will do our best to carry on like my mom would want and fill each day with love and laughter.
Over the past 9 months, my mom did 14 chemo treatments and tried her best to beat this disease. We still can't believe that less than a year ago life was perfect for us and my mom was feeling great and enjoying her life and being a new grandma. And even though we've had some time to adjust to her diagnosis, we still can't believe that she is actually gone. It feels like such a short time ago, cancer wasn't even a word on our radar, and now we will have to deal with the greatest loss of our lives. It's all just so crazy, we can't quite get a grip on how this happened. I imagine this loss will be felt by us for years and years to come. But now that my mom is gone, we will need to figure out how to navigate a new path forward, one that will make her proud, and fill us with a new sense of happiness and family. And Cooper will be a big part in helping us move forward and keep our hearts open and filled with love and laughter.
My mom's last month was filled with a sense of closure and peace as she had the foresight to be able to speak with her family and friends and tell them how much she loved them and come to terms with her situation. She said she was so blessed to have every one of you in her life and she felt that she didn't have any loose ends or regrets. She always felt like her life was heaven on earth, and that she made each day count and always tried to tell the people in her life how much they meant to her. So in a way, even though she desperately wanted more time with her loved ones, she felt a sense of peace that she had such a wonderful life that was full of life and beautiful memories.
The Last Couple Weeks were very difficult for my dad and I, as we watched my mom lose strength fast. And the last five days were unbearable for my dad and I, sitting at her beside, watching her, stroking her hair, holding her hand, as we waited for her to take her last breath. But they were also a time of strength and courage and love and comfort as we stayed by her side so that she wouldn't be afraid and would feel how much we loved her. And finally, when the moment came, we were happy that she was able to be at peace. She died in her own bed, with her husband by her side, holding her in his arms. Even the last three days when she couldn't communicate with us anymore, she knew we were there. She would mumble and respond to us with a look or a hand squeeze, and even though it was the most difficult thing we have ever gone through, we were glad that we could be there for my mom, and allow her to die at home, in the place that she loved so much, with her family by her side. And she promised that she would come to us in the beautiful Lake Huron sunsets every night.
My mom didn't want a funeral or visitation or a memorial service. She wanted a celebration of her life. So instead of a burial, my mom has chosen to be cremated and wishes to be scattered in her favorite place -- the shores of beautiful lake Huron -- her home. She loved the summers and the beautiful weather and and didn't want to have anything this time of year. She loved the trees and her flowers and birds to be singing and celebrating her life along with us. So my dad and I will have a "Life Celebration" for my mom on Saturday June 4th where we will scatter her ashes, walk the beautiful boardwalk, and gather together to celebrate her life with family and friends. She loved her friendship garden party so much, that it will be similar event, with family and friends mingling outside near her friendship garden and the beautiful lake. She wishes us to just be together, share stories of great memories we have with her, and enjoy the day. We will send out a reminder closer to June with the details and hope you will all be able to make it.
We know you will be thinking about us and might want to send flowers, but instead of doing that, we are hoping that instead, you will remember Linda this weekend by doing a 'random act of kindness' for someone. We did this for Cooper's first birthday party and my mom loved the idea. In fact, this is how she spent most of her life, just doing or saying something little to make someone's day a little brighter. My mom was a firm believer that it is the little things in life that make the difference, and it doesn't take much to reach out and do something to touch somebody's life in a small but meaningful way. So if you get the chance, please do something to make someone else smile, and think of my mom. She would be proud to know that her final wish touched someone else's life and made them smile.
Thank you all for being such a great support to my mom and now to us over the last 9 months. Please help us keep her spirit alive by keeping her in your hearts. And when you see a beautiful sunset over the lake, just remember, it's my mom's way of saying she loves you.
Please know that she loved you all, and so do we.
Love,
Lisa, Peter, Dave, and Cooper.
PS -- Please tell anyone who you think should know about my mom's passing, as not everyone who loved her has email or is on this list. Thank you.
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